we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
