No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
