is your mom at the bar?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
