the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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