I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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