I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
