My nipple is on Facebook.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Damn victory sex feels great
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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