you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
