I must be too annoying 4 u.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
