I feel like I'm in dance class right now
another moral hangover. fuck.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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