So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
