Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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