There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
