Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
