Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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