i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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