He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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