I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
