I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You are the jesus of drinking
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
