i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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