I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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