69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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