And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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