check it out our google latitudes are spooning
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
