why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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