similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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