it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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