New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
