and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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