So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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