we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
