No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
