From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
And then he peed in my hair
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