Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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