Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
