Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
