I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
