am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
