I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
