she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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