whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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