omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This is the prime rib incident all over again
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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