News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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