At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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