I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize