they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
