Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
