at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
