so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize