Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I looked at my own cervix.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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