Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
