i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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