So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
