dude i'm inner monologue high
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
