people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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