She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So many bounce houses so little time
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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