even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I touched a dick in church today
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