i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
