dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
