Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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