honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
