I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
