Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he puts the penis in happiness.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How does one acquire holy water?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize