That's when you crack a 10am beer
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
