He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
