I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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