you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
