He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
